Not being able to move forward isn’t failure. It’s not proof you’re broken or unmotivated. It’s a sign your body is protecting what’s still too vulnerable to bring forward. This piece explores what stillness actually means, and how healing truly begins.

Most people assume that if you’re not progressing emotionally, psychologically, or socially, it must be a lack of effort or willpower. That idea is everywhere. It’s baked into our culture, into therapy clichés, and even into how we talk to ourselves when we feel stuck. But what if that’s not just unhelpful, what if it’s completely wrong?

In the full article linked below, I explore a different interpretation, one that’s based on lived experience, grounded in how our nervous system works, and rooted in how real healing begins. Because what most people label as “being stuck” is often something else entirely. It’s not a flaw in your mindset. It’s not laziness. It’s not weakness. It’s your system protecting you, doing exactly what it was designed to do when it doesn’t feel safe.

Healing doesn’t begin with pushing harder. It doesn’t begin with trying to out-think or out-perform your way through paralysis. It starts when your body, and your system, begins to sense that it’s safe enough to move again. Until then, stillness isn’t resistance, it’s protection.

That sense of “can’t move” shows up in many ways. You might find yourself planning but not acting, socially withdrawing but feeling strangely calm, or feeling exhausted but not in a way that makes sense. On the surface, everything looks fine. Underneath, it’s like something inside you has hit pause. Not because you’re lazy. But because that’s the safest thing your system could do.

This isn’t a motivational issue. It’s a physiological one. And once you understand that, really understand it, it changes the conversation entirely. You stop blaming yourself for not trying hard enough. You stop chasing strategies that don’t work. And instead, you start creating the internal conditions that make movement possible.

If that shift speaks to something in you, it’s not an accident. Something inside you might be ready to hear a different possibility, one without blame, shame, or pressure. Not a checklist. Not a shortcut. Just a way back into yourself that’s built on safety and permission.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. If this resonates with you and you’d like to take the next step, gently, in your own time, you’re very welcome to get in touch I’d also love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

If you’d like to explore the original version and see more of this work, you can read the full article here: https://rogerhughes.org/2026/01/10/the-real-truth-about-why-youre-not-ready-to-heal/